Now that he's not going to allow room service, I better keep track...

Break's door now has the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the doorknob, but while that can strike fear into some peoples' hearts with other rooms, Break's room is actually fairly tidy. It's clearly lived in, but he does his best to keep it neat. However, you'll have to turn on the lights to see this, since they're definitely off (Break has never turned on the lights himself for obvious reasons).

The beds are both unmade, but both show signs of being used. If someone is creepy and smells the sheets, it'll be clear that Break just uses both of them instead of preferring one over the other. The only thing of note is that one of the comforters has a very small set of stains on one of the end corners. They're several days old and it doesn't look like Break tried to clean them off at all minus wiping up the what caused the stain... Looking closer will show that it's definitely bloodstains.

The dresser is also full of ugly-ass clothes, though the notebook is sitting on some clothes in the top drawer. The pen is still at the beside table. The notebook has a few pages missing, all torn out, but you'll be able to find all of the pieces. In fact, two of them are sitting on the dresser, though they're a bit odd. One piece is folded into four (like so) and is sitting at the ##CHECK WITH AKI## back of the dresser, slightly behind the television. It's blank. There are also two pieces of paper tucked under the corner of the television, both folded in half (like so). However, the two pieces are from a page from the notebook being torn in half, and the two pieces of paper fit together, so they're clearly the same page. They're also blank.

The safe contains quite a few more things than last time. Emily is still sitting front and center in the safe, and the same letter to "Lady Sharon" is tucked underneath her. There's another piece of paper tucked underneath, and it has the same, messy blind man's scrawl:

If you're reading this because I'm dead, then please give Emily to Miata.
To Miata: My only request is that you take care of this doll. Return it if you can.

There's another notebook in the safe as well, but it's easy to tell where it came from. The only thing in the notebook is a very nice sketch of Break knitting, which will identify this as Gilbert's notebook. Inside, you'll find Clover's letter, and there are also four pieces of paper which are seemingly blank tucked into the book. However, if you look or feel closely, there are clearly indents in the paper where someone was trying to write. These are Gilbert's letters to Break, which can be transcribed if someone really puts their mind to it. These notes are bundled together with a folded piece of paper that just has a single word written on it, though: "DON'T". That's for you, safe searcher.

There are also seven cigarette boxes that are neatly stacked up in the corner. Opening each will show a different letter. Finally, there's a half-finished scarf that's messy and mismatched in some of its colors, but they're largely monochrome shades of grey.

Sitting in a corner of the room is a container from one of our various locations, and it's filled with knitting supplies. There's a lot of yarn of various colors, and sitting on top of the pile is a scarf in progress. This one is ##CHECK red, yellow and green.

The closet is filled with ugly-ass clothes since Break has no sense of fashion. Though notably, there is one finished scarf of Break's hanging up on a hanger. It's pink and blue, but he wasn't able to give it to the person that requested it.

break made friends and is alarmed about it: a saga

[ So after Undyne leaves him to his manpain with a punch, it seems that Break at least considered why he got that punch. It's probably more than Undyne expects, but still, Break will be tracking her down on Monday. It's presumably after the motives, but Team Pride is too proud to murder, so it's totally fine... ]

Undyne?

[ Once Break actually has her attention, he doesn't actually pause awkwardly like he would normally tend to. It seems sincere. ]

I owe you an apology.

When Break returns to his room for the night, he finally lets the exhaustion he feels sweep over him. It weighs down on him in a way that's physical, and exhales a long, sharp breath as if he had been holding it in all day. Here, when he's alone, he finally has the chance to show it.

It still doesn't feel real. Nothing in the past twenty-four hours really does.

What he wouldn't give to react as he had to Reim's "death" now, he thinks. Turning his emotions into that finely honed rage was what he excelled at, and for each time he could cut into someone, it made these unpleasant feelings ebb away. He didn't like to think about when that had started to happen, whether it was when he had Albus at his side or if he had always been that way, but the truth had been that for a very long time. The idea of taking life or making people suffer, it dulled these sorts of feelings.

He supposes he should be happy for the surprise of last night as a result. That tiny hope was all he needed to focus and not give in to what he's feeling completely, but it's still hard. He can look into the suspects' faces and smile, but he imagines running his sword through every single one of them. Only that sliver of hope prevents him from acting on the impulse.

Break sighs again, but less heavily this time. Even if exhaustion hangs on his shoulders, there's still work to be done. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out those blank letters before he opens and smooths them onto his dresser. His fingertips linger over the indents without really thinking of the letters, because the fact that Gilbert would do this for him was unsurprising. Objectively, this is exactly the sort of ridiculously sentimental thing that Gilbert would do. Part of him feels the same sort of feeling he had when Sharon had told him just why Gilbert had learned to cook.

But far more than that, it feels like he's standing at Shelly's bedside again. It's the same sort of crisis that comes from knowing you're receiving someone's parting words. Even if he wanted to deny it, even if he felt that he didn't even deserve them at all, the warmth of those words always reaches him. It's why he's afraid to run his fingertips over these letters.

His fingertips find the beginning of the note, and he reads each word aloud as he catches it to help him discern the meaning. They've gotten slightly out of order because of how he and Poland had flipped through them, but as he continues, he actually feels a sense of relief. With the way Gilbert is talking in these letters, Break understands that they're small records, like a diary. It gets Break's unease to calm, though he does occassionally pause over certain parts as their irony twists at his heart.

They're notes to Break written this way for privacy. With talks of their plans and all of the things that they had been quietly planning, that's a good decision, and he also understands why Gilbert would go through such lengths to hide it. If he did die, that idiot would never want to implicate Break. This is his way of being cautious, and as he realizes that, Break breathes out a laugh tinged with pride. He'd taught him well, though perhaps he shouldn't be feeling pride over that.

I feel a little hopeful he says on the second to last letter, and that twists at Break's heart though it gets him to smile sadly. He would, of course. That was just the sort of luck that surrounded him both, and he finds it all the more cruelly ironic that his life would end with a beheading of all things. Their bad luck would truly never leave them, and the thought even makes him laugh. With one more letter to go, Break isn't feeling quite so much dread. Even if they had Gilbert's soft-hearted nature throughout, it was a record. That, he can handle. Yet as he starts that last letter, Break's fingers falter very quickly.

I wouldn't be writing this letter if I did.

Break falls completely silent as he continues to think through the words his fingers are feeling out, but it returns all that dread and pressure quickly. His expression falls as he bows his head forward, but he continues on. There's only the moment of his hand as he reads through this last letter, but by the time he gets to the "thank you," his hand is shaking.

"You..." he speaks softly, and even he's surprised by just how shaky it sounds, "You're cruel, Gilbert. It was supposed to be me, not—"

Break's voice trails off into nothing as his hand moves to steady himself on the dresser. His fingers curl desperately against the wood like he's trying to dig into it. His chest tightens, and he chokes out a noise that could be a sob, but it's angrier and harsher. It doesn't even sound human to his own ears, but it strikes him as soon as he says it aloud so heavily that he can't keep it inside anymore.

"I'm not the one that should still be alive, idiot."

He doesn't deserve that. It's not even something practical like a matter of his illness that pulls that thought out of him so bitterly. It's much deeper than that. Of anyone, Break doesn't feel that he deserves to continue living. For all that he's done, and for all that he will do, he'll deserve his death when it comes to him. He had been playing this stupid game not for the idea of saving himself or that he might return home, because he didn't think he would. Instead, just saving Gilbert would be enough. He could only pray that it would be enough. He had been willing to do anything to try and secure that, but he had hesitated for the sake of trying to not get Gilbert too tangled up in his sentimentality.

Break's gaze lifts, and now he feels the sharp heat at the corner of his remaining eye, but he doesn't even acknowledge it. It hadn't been enough. That truth sinks in, and even though he's not looking at anything, the despair and anger he feels mixes together so that his expression is contorted with both. He hasn't felt this vulnerable in a long time, and his heart hammers in his ears.

In this moment, he only remembers her words.

You can't save anyone, can you?

[ Sure, we've been playing body part scavenger hunt this week, but more importantly, this week does mark something new. With Friday having passed, no one is dead, seemingly as promised. Granted, the food has been less than appealing this week, but. Still. There's still cause for at least a little celebration.

If you're an adult (so far as Break is concerned, which is 18+), you'll be invited to the general store that evening, since why go far from the alcohol? Break could lug it back to his room, but if we're honest, there's way more interesting stuff to mess with when drinking in the general store itself. Drinking and slingshots? How could that ever go wrong?

Break has at least recruited Gilbert and Rhys to help him lug out as many cups and mugs as he could, and all of the spirits available are laid out on the counter. There's nothing to mix with, since we're the Salty Spittoon, not Weenie Hut Jr., duh. You know what this means. ]

"LMFAO - Shots ft. Lil Jon" (Watch on YouTube)

[ Much like the teen slumber party, feel free to use this post as a general mingle! make toplevels, threadjack, you know the drill, etc.! The 18 and under crowd can come hang out, but they won't be allowed to partake in the liquor, how sad. ]

[ when does this take place??? A Mystery. It's definitely night, though, because when else would Undyne be literally hauling grandpa up to the roof. Really, the true mystery here is how Undyne convinced Break to have a conversation on a roof, but. He at least seems to trust her enough to not just throw him off of it on a Monday or whatever.

Though, still. Being carried is... a bit embarrassing. Undyne will probably also notice just how light he is, since he's definitely built like a weenie hut jr. even if his personality is a salty spittoon. ]

...If you drop me, I'll haunt you and everyone you care for. By the way~.

[ He's just saying!! ]

[ So here they are, the three shady stooges... Break has been dutifully working on a Hyperion Yellow (tm) scarf for Rhys, but he's actually almost done by this point. And so he's also getting a bit bored. Maybe they just need something to break up the night, because knowing these three idiots, they've probably been like sitting quietly in different corners trying to not acknowledge that they're having a slumber party. ]

Ehh... It's not even that late yet, is it~? Thursdays are really the worst.

[ Because, like, murder, but also because they're so long? Like Break doesn't sleep much anyways, but sleeping on Thursdays nights is even harder. He'll ask Gilbert to write down his knitting numbers for him, but then moves to sit crosslegged on the bed like he's not a middle-aged man... ]

I need to take a break from knitting, so~. What should we do~?

[ Or generally after their deathshocks are gone and Break also manages to get permission to leave nurse Gilbert...

Considering the dream he had while he was out, he does feel a bit of urgency. Granted, before the trial, he may not have sought any of the other members of Team Pride out, but considering the evening he had spent with Alisha scolding him a bit, he did trust her enough for this. It's not much trust, since Break doesn't give such a thing easily, but he at least expects that it's something he could speak to her about.

So at some point when she's in her room during the day, there's a very light knock on her door. Though of course, being a gentleman, he'll announce himself shortly after. ]

Miss Alisha? It's Break.