[ It's a very boring Wednesday afternoon, and after doing whatever it is that Break does all day, he seems to decide that it's time to do something else. He shrugs, then heads to the bathroom after grabbing some (horribly mismatched) clothes from his closet. Considering his ever-present visitor(s), he changes in the bathroom now. Little does he know, this modesty will not actually help him today. ]
I'm going to take a shower. Go do something else for a while.
[ This is directed to Gilbert, really, since he assumes that if anyone else is here, they're not weird and creepy like Gilbert... Not that Break thinks that Gilbert would be peeking, exactly, but he does think that he'd stand inside the bathroom and make sure that Break didn't fall. Which he does not want, thank you.
Yet even so, he heads into the bathroom and starts to run the shower. It's only as long as it takes for the water to heat up before he gets in, and so begins a terrible, embarrassing day for Xerxes Break. ]
[Why is Undyne even here again. Look, being dead can get super boring when she's not training, and sometimes she just needs a brief recharge from getting the shit beaten out of her okay!!
But wow, even she winces at the clothes Break's taking with him, and this is coming from someone who wears leather jackets and muscle shirts all the time.] Okay, I know we should save some of our energy, but I think fixing Break's clothes is definitely a righteous and worthy use for it.
[And then she turns her head slowly to eye Gilbert.]
[Gilbert doesn't even look twice at the shit Break picks out for himself anymore, okay. He's just immune now... But he'd agree anyway, because he knows Break gets shit all the time from people who are like "HAHA THAT WEIRD CLOWN MAN". Someone help him??
Someone help Gilbert, too.]
It's not— Well--! No! [CONVINCING.] But I get worried sometimes. Not a lot of people are on this end of the hallway anymore, so what would happen to Break if he fell and no one heard him? What if he didn't get any help in time?
[Clover's excuse for being here is that Undyne's here, because that's what happens when you basically live (or...you know, not live but...exist......) on someone else's shoulders. Look, they both remember the last time they thought it was safe to put Clover down!!!
Saving energy implies that Clover has or ever has had impulse control or prioritization skills. Fashion is such an important priority and she nods along in agreement, then promptly bursts into giggles at Gilbert's shitty attempts at defending himself in the face of Undyne's judging. His actual point has been lost to her snickering, sorry Gilbert.]
[JUST CONTINUING TO SIDE-EYE GILBERT HERE though her next words are about to eliminate any justification she has for judging tbh]
Wait, is that actually a problem? I mean...I guess he is blind, he probably wouldn't be able to tell if he dropped the soap or something....
[OH NO NOW SHE'S LOOKING WORRIED TOO. Break seems to have a Plan, he can't die in the shower before that!! And also friendship etc etc.]
...well, he only told you to stay out, right? I could always go in and check on him to make sure he's okay! I'm not into humans or guys, so it's not like anyone has to worry about me ogling him or being a pervert or anything gross like that. [implying...that they definitely do have to worry about that with Gilbert....]
It's not like he has to worry about any of that from me, either—!! [He sees that implication, Undyne! UGH!!
But he really is actually quite worried about the State Of Break since he's an old man and all. Old men slip and fall in the showers all the time! This is a real concern! He's sure Katerina would be glad to get rid of Break in a dumb way so clearly getting help would be up to them, anyway!]
[LAUGHING...HARDER......... it's just sort of this wheezy snickering but the intention is definitely completely there.]
Hm? Hehe, I didn't hear anything, I think he's fine. [She has not been paying nearly enough attention to the specifics of this conversation, she has failed to realize how urgent it is that she get off of Undyne's shoulders, mistakes are about to be made.]
Yeah, but we all know I actually mean it. [Look, she doesn't actually ship Break and Gilbert and she thinks their shounen friendship is super touching (which is probably way worse tbh), but neither does she buy claims of heterosexual non-creepiness from either of them. Especially Gilbert.]
Sure, I don't mind! I'll just do some push-ups in there to pass the time. [AND IN SHE GOES...THROUGH THE DOOR...TO GET A VIEW OF SOME OLD MAN PEEN...sorry Clover]
But good, whatever, at least she's going to look like she said she would! Gilbert will just hover nervously outside the door. Bye Clover, bye Undyne... Bye Break too, probably.]
Wait— [WAIT WHAT ARE THEY DOING WHERE ARE THEY GOING OH NO. OH NO OH NO]
Oh my god, wait, let me down, [COVERING HER FACE WITH HER HANDS WHY IS SHE HERE] put me down omigod, [TRYING TO BACKPEDAL WHILE ON UNDYNE'S SHOULDERS, THAT'S NOT EVEN HOW IT WORKS] I'm not HajEEEK—!
[yep, that there's the sound of Clover shrieking when she accidentally tips backwards and falls right off of Undyne's shoulders. bye.
Except in her desperate scramble to not do that, she manages to turn her intangibility on and off and on and off again and takes an entire wall shelf down with her—or, like, part of the way with her, because the shelf clatters to the floor while Clover phases right the fuck through it. Clover, Clunder.
If Gilbert runs in fast enough he might see a tuft of pink hair just fucking disappear through the floor before she lands ass-first in Urashima's room but nope she couldn't stop being dramatic for five minutes and now she's just fucking gone.]
[ Which is to say, Break is actually having a fairly relaxing shower, though he is still getting some of the pink glitter off of him (it's literally never going away). He actually tends to take fairly long showers, since he finds them relaxing, but not today. As soon as there's a clatter of the shelf very suddenly falling so far as he's concerned, it's enough for Break to actually yell in surprise, which is rare enough, but he's also naked in two senses here. One, there's the literal, which is alarming to everyone else, but in what's alarming to him, he doesn't bring his cane with him into the bathroom. He's unarmed, which has him reacting a little more violently to the surprise than normal.
So, you can essentially predict what happens next.
Break isn't a very physical fighter, so when he swings out with his fist in his surprise, it also catches him off balance. He throws too much of his momentum into the punch in his alarm, and just like that, he starts to fall. He grabs out in pure instinct to grab the shower curtain, and there's more chaos as the rings pops with the weight of being pulled down, and then the shower curtain's rod pops out of the wall with it. This is all something to be processed momentarily, because Break is definitely falling out of the shower at this rate. He spills out of the tub and onto the tile floor, but at least grabbing the shower curtain prevents it from being too nasty of a fall.
But still, with his broken tailbone, it doesn't feel that great, either. He lets out a sharper cry once he hits the ground, since half landing on his side still gets his bones to protest. That, and he just fell out of the shower, so that wouldn't feel good normally. He'll get to yelling up a storm in a moment, but for now, he needs to recover from the immediate jolt of surprise and pain. ]
[In retrospect, someone should have forseen this happening. Not Undyne because cultural differences and all, but someone here who's a human ghost raised in Victorian ages should have probably warned her of the dangers of taking a human girl into a human old man's shower. Basically this is all Gilbert's fault and everyone else here is definitely Innocent.
BUT IT'S TOO LATE NOW. Undyne has no clue why Clover would have any issues with this, so she's not prepared in the least when Clover starts shrieking and backpedaling on her shoulders and falling off.]
Clover?! What the-- [She starts scrambling to keep her balance, but to no avail as Clover flounders around. As Clover begins falling through the floor, Undyne lunges forward to try to grab her hand, but she's too slow thanks to getting knocked off-balance and also NOT SEEING ANY OF THIS COMING AT ALL.
And then Break begins to fall out of the shower too.]
Oh, shit!
[Undyne executes a frankly stunning 180 degrees pivot, lunge and tackle that absolutely no one can appreciate because they're currently out of the room or blind. She manages to reach Break fast enough to get her arms under him in time...in a completely useless gesture because her lack of ghost energy means she only solidifies long enough to slow his fall somewhat without actually being able to stop it.]
[Gilbert is totally fast enough to see a little poof of Clover hair vanish through the floor!! He's also loudly screaming before he even pokes his head in.]
Break?! What's— [AND THERE GOES UNDYNE. THERE GOES BREAK. THERE GOES BREAK'S ENTIRE SHOWER CURTAIN.]
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING—?! Break!! [HE FELL FOR REAL, HIS FEARS WERE TOTALLY FOUNDED, HE'S SCREAMING.
But also being useful after like .5 seconds, running over to lift the bar up... It nearly phases out of his hands a few times in his panic but fortunately it never drops back down to murder Break.]
[Meanwhile, a floor below, Clover is only now deciding that she should probably stand up and drag her ass back upstairs. The swearing hasn't stopped since she landed, though. Please don't set anything on fire without her.]
[ Unsurprisingly, this is enough for Break to finally, truly lose his temper. For once, it's at least completely fair, since anyone would be more than a little startled by a shelf suddenly coming down when they're at their most vulnerable, but for a man that's both blind and extremely paranoid? It's not a good combination. He's at least prevented from hurting himself or being killed by ghosts thanks to Undyne's great effort, but as soon as he recovers from the shock of the jolt of pain, he slams his fist against the tile angrily. Which also slips and he loses his balance slightly because he's still soaking wet, but. ]
God dammit, what did I just say?!
[ He shifts to start to sit up, but it ends up getting him to shift the wrong way, so he just half-groans, half-yells before he moves in a different, less painful way. But he's still yelling. Gilbert in particular is probably familiar enough to hear how his breath is becoming a little uneven too, which could be because he's really pissed off, or it could be because he's about to cough up another lung. ]
I can't hear where you complete idiots are, so stop following me everywhere and breaking everything! You're the ones that are going to kill me at this rate!!
[Undyne would normally feel a little bad about this since she keeps dropping Break and shattering his old man body for some reason, but...nah. Not this time!! As far as she sees it, babysitting Break in the shower is an extremely reasonable and pragmatic move to make, and it all would have worked out perfectly if Clover hadn't suddenly had a spasmodic fit on her shoulders.
He's not even that good-looking, she has no idea why Clover would be freaking out so much.
Nonetheless, she'll just carefully extract herself from the pale old ball of rage and glance at Gilbert uncertainly.]
Uh...should we put him back to bed again? He seems to be pretty mad for some reason. [FOR...SOME...REASON.....]
[UNDYNE PLEASE... PLEASE... Break is old and frail?? Listen to him, he can't even yell without running out of breath!!]
Er— [Good question, though. He looks uncertainly at Break in turn, since he's not really sure he wants to pick up a naked angry old man.]
...Well, he might have sprained something in that fall, so it would probably be better than letting him try to finish showering. I don't think he could get the curtain rod back up, anyway...
[Clearly magic maintenance will have to fix it instead!! But anyway, before anything, he'll just.
Go over to pick up a towel so he can drop it on Break.
Three people have seen your dingle dongle Break no one else wants to, please cover up in case more ghosts decide to join the party since they're apparently just attracted to chaos.]
[ Break has been rather focused on other things in this stupid encounter, such calming down his heart after the shock of what a menace ghosts are or the pain he's feeling in... more than a few places. As such, he had neglected to consider one part of this truly terrible scenario. However, when Gilbert drops a towel on him, it suddenly clicks.
He definitely had more yelling in mind, since there's a lot to yell at them about, but that's all quickly lost, for better or for worse. Break bows his head as his face turns scarlet, and his shoulders absolutely shake with both embarrassment and rage. In fact, the anger might be a part of those of the red in his face too.
But rather than say anything coherent, Break just screams. Literally just yells, because goddamn fucking ghosts fucking shit up.
Just give him a second. xerxesbreak.exe has crashed and must reboot ]
[She...really doesn't have enough energy left to reliably carry Break anywhere, unfortunately. She's just about to swallow her pride and admit that when Break suddenly starts screaming like a crazy person.
Undyne actually takes several steps back. Good job Break, you have done what no one else has ever accomplished with your angry old man yelling and made her retreat.]
Uh...does Break have severe self-esteem issues with how he looks or something? Because I think we broke him.
[NO THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT SHE WANTED TO DO??? How does she deal with broken humans, she has no idea. She'll just cautiously reach out a hand and gently pat Break on the head several times like a puppy.
There there, Break. You're the exact opposite of her type and she has no idea who would be attracted to you other than Gilbert, but you're probably not completely hideous by human standards? Pat pat.]
[MEANWHILE, GILBERT JUST STANDS THERE looking like he's taken a step into hell. Clover is gone, Undyne is retreating, Break is having a waterbedlam moment, there are still bits of plaster crumbling from the walls, the entire cabinet is on the floor--
He may be a king babysitter, but he's Tired, okay. HIS GHOST HANDS CAN'T HOLD THIS MUCH WEIGHT.]
I... think maybe it would just be better if we let him clean up and get dressed on his own, first. We can check on him after he's done...
[A murder has occurred today. The murder of Break's tiny dignities.]
[ The water bedlam doesn't last too long, at least. It's just a few seconds before he stops, if only because he starts coughing, but luckily there's no blood. This time. He just got so angry that he forgot to breathe. But at least when the coughing dies down, he grabs the edge of the tub and starts to pull himself up. ]
Just get out. I can't make you, but for gods' sake, just listen for once and leave me alone!
[HEY CLOVER'S BACK, phasing through the front door with one groaning, dramatic] ohhhhhhhmmmyyyyyygoooooooooooodddddddddddddddddddd [to announce her arrival. Sup, guys.
She doesn't go back in the bathroom, she's just gonna scream from where she's standing.] Is he okay?! [WHAT (else) DID YOU GUYS DO]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wednesday...
I'm going to take a shower. Go do something else for a while.
[ This is directed to Gilbert, really, since he assumes that if anyone else is here, they're not weird and creepy like Gilbert... Not that Break thinks that Gilbert would be peeking, exactly, but he does think that he'd stand inside the bathroom and make sure that Break didn't fall. Which he does not want, thank you.
Yet even so, he heads into the bathroom and starts to run the shower. It's only as long as it takes for the water to heat up before he gets in, and so begins a terrible, embarrassing day for Xerxes Break. ]
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But wow, even she winces at the clothes Break's taking with him, and this is coming from someone who wears leather jackets and muscle shirts all the time.] Okay, I know we should save some of our energy, but I think fixing Break's clothes is definitely a righteous and worthy use for it.
[And then she turns her head slowly to eye Gilbert.]
You follow him into the shower?
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Someone help Gilbert, too.]
It's not— Well--! No! [CONVINCING.] But I get worried sometimes. Not a lot of people are on this end of the hallway anymore, so what would happen to Break if he fell and no one heard him? What if he didn't get any help in time?
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Saving energy implies that Clover has or ever has had impulse control or prioritization skills. Fashion is such an important priority and she nods along in agreement, then promptly bursts into giggles at Gilbert's shitty attempts at defending himself in the face of Undyne's judging. His actual point has been lost to her snickering, sorry Gilbert.]
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Wait, is that actually a problem? I mean...I guess he is blind, he probably wouldn't be able to tell if he dropped the soap or something....
[OH NO NOW SHE'S LOOKING WORRIED TOO. Break seems to have a Plan, he can't die in the shower before that!! And also friendship etc etc.]
...well, he only told you to stay out, right? I could always go in and check on him to make sure he's okay! I'm not into humans or guys, so it's not like anyone has to worry about me ogling him or being a pervert or anything gross like that. [implying...that they definitely do have to worry about that with Gilbert....]
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It's not like he has to worry about any of that from me, either—!! [He sees that implication, Undyne! UGH!!
But he really is actually quite worried about the State Of Break since he's an old man and all. Old men slip and fall in the showers all the time! This is a real concern! He's sure Katerina would be glad to get rid of Break in a dumb way so clearly getting help would be up to them, anyway!]
...Do you mind? I'd appreciate it.
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Hm? Hehe, I didn't hear anything, I think he's fine. [She has not been paying nearly enough attention to the specifics of this conversation, she has failed to realize how urgent it is that she get off of Undyne's shoulders, mistakes are about to be made.]
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Sure, I don't mind! I'll just do some push-ups in there to pass the time. [AND IN SHE GOES...THROUGH THE DOOR...TO GET A VIEW OF SOME OLD MAN PEEN...sorry Clover]
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[UGHHHHHH...
But good, whatever, at least she's going to look like she said she would! Gilbert will just hover nervously outside the door. Bye Clover, bye Undyne... Bye Break too, probably.]
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Oh my god, wait, let me down, [COVERING HER FACE WITH HER HANDS WHY IS SHE HERE] put me down omigod, [TRYING TO BACKPEDAL WHILE ON UNDYNE'S SHOULDERS, THAT'S NOT EVEN HOW IT WORKS] I'm not HajEEEK—!
[yep, that there's the sound of Clover shrieking when she accidentally tips backwards and falls right off of Undyne's shoulders. bye.
Except in her desperate scramble to not do that, she manages to turn her intangibility on and off and on and off again and takes an entire wall shelf down with her—or, like, part of the way with her, because the shelf clatters to the floor while Clover phases right the fuck through it. Clover, Clunder.
If Gilbert runs in fast enough he might see a tuft of pink hair just fucking disappear through the floor before she lands ass-first in Urashima's room but nope she couldn't stop being dramatic for five minutes and now she's just fucking gone.]
Xerxes Break, Now Starring In
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[ Which is to say, Break is actually having a fairly relaxing shower, though he is still getting some of the pink glitter off of him (it's literally never going away). He actually tends to take fairly long showers, since he finds them relaxing, but not today. As soon as there's a clatter of the shelf very suddenly falling so far as he's concerned, it's enough for Break to actually yell in surprise, which is rare enough, but he's also naked in two senses here. One, there's the literal, which is alarming to everyone else, but in what's alarming to him, he doesn't bring his cane with him into the bathroom. He's unarmed, which has him reacting a little more violently to the surprise than normal.
So, you can essentially predict what happens next.
Break isn't a very physical fighter, so when he swings out with his fist in his surprise, it also catches him off balance. He throws too much of his momentum into the punch in his alarm, and just like that, he starts to fall. He grabs out in pure instinct to grab the shower curtain, and there's more chaos as the rings pops with the weight of being pulled down, and then the shower curtain's rod pops out of the wall with it. This is all something to be processed momentarily, because Break is definitely falling out of the shower at this rate. He spills out of the tub and onto the tile floor, but at least grabbing the shower curtain prevents it from being too nasty of a fall.
But still, with his broken tailbone, it doesn't feel that great, either. He lets out a sharper cry once he hits the ground, since half landing on his side still gets his bones to protest. That, and he just fell out of the shower, so that wouldn't feel good normally. He'll get to yelling up a storm in a moment, but for now, he needs to recover from the immediate jolt of surprise and pain. ]
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BUT IT'S TOO LATE NOW. Undyne has no clue why Clover would have any issues with this, so she's not prepared in the least when Clover starts shrieking and backpedaling on her shoulders and falling off.]
Clover?! What the-- [She starts scrambling to keep her balance, but to no avail as Clover flounders around. As Clover begins falling through the floor, Undyne lunges forward to try to grab her hand, but she's too slow thanks to getting knocked off-balance and also NOT SEEING ANY OF THIS COMING AT ALL.
And then Break begins to fall out of the shower too.]
Oh, shit!
[Undyne executes a frankly stunning 180 degrees pivot, lunge and tackle that absolutely no one can appreciate because they're currently out of the room or blind. She manages to reach Break fast enough to get her arms under him in time...in a completely useless gesture because her lack of ghost energy means she only solidifies long enough to slow his fall somewhat without actually being able to stop it.]
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Break?! What's— [AND THERE GOES UNDYNE. THERE GOES BREAK. THERE GOES BREAK'S ENTIRE SHOWER CURTAIN.]
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING—?! Break!! [HE FELL FOR REAL, HIS FEARS WERE TOTALLY FOUNDED, HE'S SCREAMING.
But also being useful after like .5 seconds, running over to lift the bar up... It nearly phases out of his hands a few times in his panic but fortunately it never drops back down to murder Break.]
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God dammit, what did I just say?!
[ He shifts to start to sit up, but it ends up getting him to shift the wrong way, so he just half-groans, half-yells before he moves in a different, less painful way. But he's still yelling. Gilbert in particular is probably familiar enough to hear how his breath is becoming a little uneven too, which could be because he's really pissed off, or it could be because he's about to cough up another lung. ]
I can't hear where you complete idiots are, so stop following me everywhere and breaking everything! You're the ones that are going to kill me at this rate!!
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He's not even that good-looking, she has no idea why Clover would be freaking out so much.
Nonetheless, she'll just carefully extract herself from the pale old ball of rage and glance at Gilbert uncertainly.]
Uh...should we put him back to bed again? He seems to be pretty mad for some reason. [FOR...SOME...REASON.....]
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Er— [Good question, though. He looks uncertainly at Break in turn, since he's not really sure he wants to pick up a naked angry old man.]
...Well, he might have sprained something in that fall, so it would probably be better than letting him try to finish showering. I don't think he could get the curtain rod back up, anyway...
[Clearly magic maintenance will have to fix it instead!! But anyway, before anything, he'll just.
Go over to pick up a towel so he can drop it on Break.
Three people have seen your dingle dongle Break no one else wants to, please cover up in case more ghosts decide to join the party since they're apparently just attracted to chaos.]
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He definitely had more yelling in mind, since there's a lot to yell at them about, but that's all quickly lost, for better or for worse. Break bows his head as his face turns scarlet, and his shoulders absolutely shake with both embarrassment and rage. In fact, the anger might be a part of those of the red in his face too.
But rather than say anything coherent, Break just screams. Literally just yells, because goddamn fucking ghosts fucking shit up.
Just give him a second. xerxesbreak.exe has crashed and must reboot ]
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Undyne actually takes several steps back. Good job Break, you have done what no one else has ever accomplished with your angry old man yelling and made her retreat.]
Uh...does Break have severe self-esteem issues with how he looks or something? Because I think we broke him.
[NO THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT SHE WANTED TO DO??? How does she deal with broken humans, she has no idea. She'll just cautiously reach out a hand and gently pat Break on the head several times like a puppy.
There there, Break. You're the exact opposite of her type and she has no idea who would be attracted to you other than Gilbert, but you're probably not completely hideous by human standards? Pat pat.]
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He may be a king babysitter, but he's Tired, okay. HIS GHOST HANDS CAN'T HOLD THIS MUCH WEIGHT.]
I... think maybe it would just be better if we let him clean up and get dressed on his own, first. We can check on him after he's done...
[A murder has occurred today. The murder of Break's tiny dignities.]
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Just get out. I can't make you, but for gods' sake, just listen for once and leave me alone!
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She doesn't go back in the bathroom, she's just gonna scream from where she's standing.] Is he okay?! [WHAT (else) DID YOU GUYS DO]